Common Homebuilding Clashes with Your Partner

Bill Zhao
Aug 4
3 min read

It comes as no surprise that everyone has different tastes from one another, and even the best-matched couples may have some jarring rifts when it comes to their most passionate topics. Here are five of the most common homebuilding decisions that sew discord among couples:

Design

Of the myriad architectural and interior design styles to choose from, it comes as no surprise that the home you’ll be waking up to everyday requires a style that will last a lifetime. You may be after the sleek, geometric style of contemporary houses, while your partner might be after a style that hearkens back to mid-century modern.

Rather than trying to “win,” the real success lies in creating a shared vision. Instead of asking “Whose taste is better?” ask “What parts of each style can we celebrate together?” Pull inspiration images together and look for overlapping values like warmth, simplicity, texture, symmetry. A skilled designer can also help merge contrasting ideas into a cohesive plan that feels like both of you.

Form vs Function

The classic problem once again begets discourse among homebuilders and renovators alike. Your partner may have a highly utilitarian mindset, happily abandoning contemporary design trends for a barrage of drawers, cabinets, and shelves. Or perhaps it’s the other way around, and they don’t see the elegance in a consistent design language.

This is a great opportunity to dig into how each of you lives day to day. Do you cook often? Do you entertain? Do you need visual calm, or easy access? Talking through real habits, rather than abstract preferences, can bring clarity. Often, thoughtful design can bridge the gap between beauty and utility.

Colour

Deciding on the paint for a room has always been a prolonged debate, and it’s not just the interiors: exterior paint will decide what your home will look like to everyone else. Your partner may be holding a different palette in their hand, but in the end, it is a home for the two of you. Settling for a consistent theme may be better than a compromise with clashing colours.

Try starting with a neutral base and layering in bolder choices through accents, furniture, or art. If you’re struggling to agree, work with a colour consultant or interior designer who can offer guidance backed by colour psychology and space planning. And remember, it’s easier to repaint than to rebuild.

Layout

Whether it’s the number of rooms or where they’re placed, deciding on the building plan is something that ought to be accomplished sooner rather than later. This can be delayed by conflicting views on how big your family should be, or how quickly you should be able to reach the bathroom. Guest rooms, hobby rooms, and storage rooms can quickly fill up your budget. Deciding on your plans for the future can help finalise your home layout (and perhaps save you an extra-long journey to the bathroom at night).

Price

There are countless opportunities for spending during the home building process. Between choosing your contractor, selecting your contract type, and signing off on number of building materials, balancing price and performance is key. A frugal train of thought can save money, but at the same time, splurging on a quality product can improve longevity.

Try setting ‘budget buckets’ together: agree on where to save and where to spend. For example, you might splurge on insulation and windows for comfort and energy savings, while compromising on tapware or flooring that can be upgraded later.

No one expects the homebuilding process to be all smooth sailing, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a battlefield. If anything, this journey can strengthen your partnership. You’ll learn how to negotiate, how to truly listen, and how to prioritise not just your own needs but your shared goals.

The best homes aren’t just a blend of materials; they’re a blend of people, values, and compromises. With honest conversations, a clear vision, and a bit of patience, you’ll create something far more meaningful than just a house—you’ll build a home that reflects both of you.